New Parakletos Post: Adoptive Fathers
It is very rare for fathers on the journey to adoption to be asked “How are you feeling? What is this journey like for you?” Most of the time, adopting fathers are passed by and overlooked. This is similar for fathers during pregnancy. They all deal with…
When Adoption Goes Wrong: Foster Care
As a student with a social work mindset, when I think of foster care adoption I think of uniting families in spite of difficult circumstances, placing children into families that care for them, and connecting children with families that will love and care for them. As I read through articles and stories online about foster care adoptions gone wrong I was shocked to find as many true stories as I did. One of the shocking results I found was this: as of 2011, there were 500,000 children in the United States that were still waiting to get accepted into a home.
One of the main problems that can occur through foster care adoption is the relocation of a child. When a child is put into a foster care home, this child may be moved to another city, another state or clear across the country. This creates a difficult environment for making and keeping friends and doesn’t allow for the normalcy and routine that children of a young age need. According to Childtrends.org, children in foster care homes are at a 2 times higher risk for performing poorly in school than non-foster home children. Another source indicates that about 70 % of foster care children experience MORE than seven school changes between Kindergarten and 12th grade.
Another major concern creating issues for foster care adoption is new budget cuts that are being instated in the US. In Texas, in particular, The Department of Family and Protective Services is experiencing severe cuts to budgets. This deficit affects hundreds of children who may not be placed into loving homes but into agency offices and back into the system. President Obama has identified how important it is to provide support to these children and has indicated part of his budget as monies that will go to foster care and adoptive services.
President Obama deemed November as national adoption month to help raise the awareness about foster care, and the importance of foster and adoptive parents all over the country. While November has long since passed, let’s still continue to remember those children who in the foster care system waiting… just waiting to be adopted into a stable, consistent and loving family.
Leslie is from Fort Wayne, IN. In addition to student jobs on campus, Leslie is a full time student. She will be a college graduate this spring with a BS in both Social Work and Psychology. Five of her favorite things are coffee, worship music, camp, sunshine, and the color purple, and she is very passionate about people, relationship-building, and children.
Disclaimer from the Editor
It has recently been brought to my attention that a recent post was not clear on a point it was explaining and thus resulted in the assumption that we at Parakletos see physical appearances as a legitimate reason to pass over a child.
We do not believe that avoiding the adoption of a child due to physical appearance is a legitimate reason; in fact, we find the idea a horrific excuse to not adopt a child. However, the question posed in the post, When Adoption Goes Wrong: Emotional Abuse, is included to show that some people do think about it and need to realize that potential parents need to stop thinking solely about their preferences at the expense of the welfare of the child.
I, Anna, the editor of Parakletos and author of said post, apologize for any confusion and hope this brings clarity. Thanks to those of you who brought the confusion to my attention. I will use more caution in the future.
On a personal note, I very much wish to adopt and would be happy to adopt a child with even physical deformities or mental disabilities to love as my very own.
When Adoption Goes Wrong: Abuse
When we think of the words adoption & abuse we often associate the two through stories where a child has been abused, taken out of their home, and then has been adopted into a loving home or has been placed into the foster care system. However, what I found when looking into abuse and adoption is that there are actually a lot of cases of abuse that occur AFTER the child has been adopted into a home.
When Adoption Goes Wrong
Those of us who are passionate about adoption always talk about the beauty of it, the hope in it, the joy it brings to many and the lives it saves. We get caught up in the excitement of the potential greatness it contains in the art of family-making in this unconventional way. Christian advocates take it a step further, often experiencing a level of spiritual significance and fulfillment by taking part this demonstration to the world of how God the Father loves them and has taken them into His own family.
November was National Adoption Awareness Month!
We started off the month by giving you some powerful infographics with facts that you can both be challenged by and use to inspire others to action. Here are the last half of the series. Share on your own blogs!
Let’s do this!
See the first half here.
A few months ago on our adoption resource blog, we posted about the high number of children who age out of the foster care system every year in America. Our desire was to raise awareness about the need for adoptive families to intervene. However, another blogger re-posted ours, adding her own comment: “Keep giving those kids up for adoption! Not to say that it isn’t an option, it is of course, but all those conservatives touting adoption as the perfect fix as an alternative to abortion are obviously not informed. I could keep going on, but I will refrain.”
Initially, I bristled at this comment, but as I re-read it and tried to understand her point, I realized she made a valid one.
Many will too often raise their banners and grumble at the government on the issue of abortion, bashing the mothers and politicians they call “murderers”. I am wholeheartedly opposed to abortion. But if we always bring awareness to what we are against without promoting and encouraging what we are for, what good are we doing? It makes me seriously question if we truly know what issues we are for – not just which we are against.
This woman rightly brought awareness to the fact that some conservatives shout against abortion, chanting that you should place the baby for adoption, but very few are stepping up to the plate and providing homes to the children who are sent into foster care.
If we see a problem in our government and society, we should stop proposing a solution without being willing to be a part of that solution. We should be challenging and encouraging ourselves and others to step up to the plate and take initiative. If you don’t want that teen mother at your son’s high school to abort her baby, help support your local pro-life pregnancy center that offers her other life-affirming options, and perhaps open your own home and heart to her if she needs a place to live.
If you are considering adoption, don’t limit your search to healthy newborns who share the same ethnic and economic background as your own, but consider adopting children from foster care or serving as a foster parent to a child who has been removed from his or her own family because of abuse or neglect. We need to change the way our culture sees adoption: it’s not about the need of adults to become parents, it’s about the needs of children for a family and a permanent home.
If you’re like me and perhaps not in a position in life where you’re able to adopt, donate to adoptive families who need financial help, educate yourself on the issue, and bring awareness to the fact that there are thousands of orphans in our own country. This is real action that moves beyond protest and prompts actual solutions. For more ideas on how you provide support to adoptive families, here’s a link to Focus on the Family’s booklet, Wrapping Around Adoptive Families.
We all should be hesitant to demand others do something we’re not interested in following through on ourselves. Fight for the value of life at all costs – don’t stop at fighting with your voice.
“Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” ~James 2:17